I Love You To Death
by Cristalchik
Summary: Edward is a serial killer, who soon sets his sights on a beautiful brown eyed girl that makes him question everything he knows in life.
1. C1 I Am A Sick SOB

**Chapter 1 I Am A Sick SOB Edward's POV**

There are so many questions I ask myself constantly_. How did my life turn out this way? _

_Why do I enjoy it so much? _Most importantly; _how is it that after years of living this way, I'm still a free man?_

I may look decent and normal on the outside, _what the fuck is normal anyway?_

But inside, I am irreversibly screwed up.

I've managed to keep this part of my life a secret from everyone, my family, my friends, my neighbors; everyone thinks I'm _just _Edward Cullen, an average, normal, 18 year old high school graduate, on the road to medical school. _Shows how much they know huh?_

It's not that I don't intend on becoming a doctor, in favor of this other life, its just that I prefer my subjects to have a little bit more _spirit_ to them, if you get my drift.

I can stop whenever I want; I am not addicted to this shit.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that Cullen._

My sick story began, pretty much the same way as any other kid's. I thought I had loving, attentive parents, up until I turned ten years old, and they'd leave me alone in the house. Carlisle would be at his hospital, fucking all the nurses and interns he could get his hands on, and later come home and beat the shit out of me, because I was the only one to give him crap about what he was doing.

Esme would be at pot smoking parties disguised as charity fundraisers. You'd think someone would eventually catch on to what was happening, but Mr. Fuck and Mrs. Stoned put up the perfect disguise of a loving family.

But what really started screwing me up, was when I met one of Carlisle's coworkers. _Laurent._

The sick bastard saw me at the office one day and apparently decided he'd had to much 'alone time', and chose to violate me.

"You won't tell anyone" he said in his stupid Jamaican accent. "No one will believe you if you do, its you're word against mine" he said smugly.

Sure, I _should_ have taken refuge in my siblings; unity, or some shit like that, but I chose not to; although they went through pretty much the same situations as me.

They got off easy though, since they were old enough, Emmett 'decided' to go live with his college buddy Sam, and Alice got a scholarship to study fashion in Paris; _lucky bastards_. Instead, I'd go off by myself to the forest close by my house, stare out and see nothing.

I found I could make it seem as though my life didn't suck like it did. My cell phone rang, snapping me out of my state of mind.

I checked the screen, _Esme_.

"Hey mom," I greeted her normally.

I hated pretending that everything was fine between us, that nothing was missing. Shit, I may have stopped my double life if they actually gave a damn, any of them; but they didn't, so what the fuck right?

"Hello Edward, how are you? It's been a while since you've come to visit us," she said pleasantly.

"I know mom, I've been busy with school though."

She huffed, and I imagined her shaking her head. "I knew it was a mistake to let you have your own place. You hardly come to visit your folks anymore…"

I sighed. "Mom, I was eighteen when I decided to move out, and I did it for school you know that." _among my other extra curricular activities_

"There's still no way to get you to come home is there?" she said in a joking tone.

I gritted my teeth.

I know it seems like a harsh reaction on my part, but I just don't like it when my parents try to be manipulative. I had way too much of that crap when I was a kid, and I wasn't going to stand for it as a fucking adult. "No mom, afraid not," I told her.

"Oh well… at least come to visit me and you're father. And you could see your brother and sister too; they came down about a week ago, and are asking about you."

"They can call," I told her in a disinterested tone.

I know I'm sounding like an asshole right now, but I've heard this kind of persuasion before; I wouldn't give into it before, and I won't give into it now.

"Mother, I have to go, I have a project that I need to get done," I said evasively.

"Alright honey, I won't keep you, I love you."

I hesitated before I replied "I love you too mom"

"Bye Edward."

"Bye," I said and hung up.

_God, I'm seriously in need of therapy_, I thought, as I threw myself on my bed.

I shook those pussy thoughts out of my head, and focused on what I had to do.

The stress of talking with my mother was still weighing heavily on me, and I needed an outlet, _my_ outlet.

My cell phone rang again, and I pinched the bridge of my nose at the thought of another conversation with Esme.

So, what do you think? do i keep it up? let me know :)

AN- Thanks to my Betas for this story, Exilededdie, Robicorn, and Birobird93 for helping me with this. You're awesome!


	2. C2 Teacher and Pupil

**Chapter 2 Teacher and Pupil**

I gritted my teeth, exasperated, expecting it to be one of my family members, which I really couldn't handle right now, but I was relieved to see a different name on the screen, Aro Volturi. I calmed down considerably.

Aro had become the family I never had, from the time I was fourteen, though the beginning had been a little difficult between us, mostly from my point.

You see, Aro is a retired detective for the Forks Police Department, so you can imagine what my off hours activities would mean to him, not to mention what it would mean for my life.

_-Flashback-_

One day, I was hanging out at the police station with him, because I had nothing better to do, and I felt strangely calm, for that time anyway.

Soon I began to feel the dark urge that drove me, and I started shaking.

"Edward, are you alright?" the old man asked.

I snapped out of it and looked to him. "I'm fine Aro," I said dismissively.

He looked at me with eyes that seemed to read my every thought, so, naturally, I shied away from it.

That night was just one of many where Carlisle and Esme got to play good parents in front of their friends, but my siblings and I knew what would be coming later on when they had gotten a few drinks in then and their friends had left.

"Edward," Aro called to me again, and I looked at him quickly.

"I think I know what the problem might be here," he said in an all knowing tone.

_Yeah, like you can read my mind, old man, _I thought disdainfully.

"Edward," he called, shaking my shoulder.

"Huh, what?"

"I said, I think I know what goes on inside that head of yours Edward," he said, his hand still on my shoulder.

_Oh shit! Not again,_ I thought.

I was usually pretty good at reading people's intentions, but Aro seemed so harmless, he was like a father to me, and now he goes and pulls this shit!

_You suck at reading people, Cullen!_, I scolded myself.

"I think I can help you son," Aro told me, and the name made me flinch.

"Help me with what?" I said, playing the innocent. I did not need a shrink, which was probably what he was thinking of recommending.

"I think I know what goes on in that head of yours" he said.

I saw red then. "How the fuck could you know what goes on in my mind? You know shit about me or my life!" I yelled.

I was breathing heavily, realizing quickly that if nothing else made my secret obvious, my outburst would.

"I'm sorry Aro, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that" I said penitently.

"Do not worry Edward. As I've already told you, I understand your reasons."

I decided to play dumb. "I don't know that you're talking about."

"Let me ask you something Edward, and if I don't see the response I'm expecting, I'll simply leave it at that, all right?"

_What kind of fucking question is that?_ I asked myself. "Alright," I said in a confused tone.

"Do you get angry often?"

I flinched and nodded.

"What do you do to release that anger?"

I shrugged and looked at the floor.

He placed his hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture and I flinched away.

He nodded. "Edward, I'm going to need you to be honest with me, can you do that?"

I let go of a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Stupid as it might seem, I trusted Aro; even with the short time I knew him. I nodded.

"…Sometimes I cut, other times, I hurt people," I shrugged.

_Oh fuck, now I'd done it._

I was expecting shock, abandonment, but as I looked up I saw… understanding?

"Edward, I understand, and I think I can help you," he said comfortingly.

"How?" I asked condescendingly.

He nodded at me, pure patience in his expression. "You will see, son."

There was that name again. I had to fight the rolling nausea it produced inside of me.

I set my jaw, and said, "Alright, let's go old man."

He chuckled. "Don't you want to let your parents know where you'll be?" he asked, as if already knowing the answer.

"Aro, I'm fourteen, I'm capable of going wherever," I said stubbornly.

"Just as well I guess" he said, and then we were on our way.

"Where are we going Aro?" I asked, once we were in his car.

"I want you to meet some people Edward" he said casually.

"Okay…" I said confused.

He laughed. "They're close to your age Edward, you'll be okay."

"Yeah," I sighed, resigned.

I never got along with people in general, let alone kids my age, I envied them too much.

As Aro drove, he told me about two foster kids I was going to meet, Jasper and James.

"Jasper's parents died in a fire that had almost taken his life too, and it left him with horrible scars all over his body," Aro explained.

I nodded, a blank expression on my face. "And the other kid, this James?"

"He's…" Aro paused, trying to figure out how to explain James I guess. "Difficult." He concluded.*

The car ride always seemed to take a long time, and this time was no different. But I didn't mind, as long I was away from my family.

Aro lived in a pretty swanky two-story house with an ocean view, which sort of looked like a castle almost.

I remember staring wide eyed. _Hey, what do you expect? I was just a kid back then._

"Nice place" I said.

He chuckled and then said, "Thank you Edward, you can come here anytime you need to."

"Um, thanks. I think." I said, looking at him like I thought he was crazy.

I mean, who the hell would want to deal with a kid like me? I was a freak. I preferred to hurt myself than to get to know others. I'd purposely fall and break something, because it seemed that pain was better than dealing with my 'home' issues.

It was my escape.

Then he started driving again. _Where the fuck is he taking me?_ I asked myself with shaking hands.

After what seemed like a two hour drive, we got to what looked like a dilapidated building.

"You live here too?" I asked confused.

He looked at me and said, "No, this is more of an office to me."

_An office, what the hell?_

He opened the door and ushered me in, and I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Aro had turned his back to me to close the door, and I contemplated getting the hell out of there.

I closed my eyes for some reason, to await the inevitable.

"Edward?" Aro's voice asked.

"_What_?" I asked between clenched teeth.

My mind had immediately gone to the most obvious of situations for me.

"Why do you tense whenever someone speaks to you?" he asked, but his tone let me think he already knew.

_Shit! He noticed._

He sat back and waited patiently, as if he knew I would tell him.

I sighed. The shit was about to hit the fan.

"Cuz I've been through a lot of shit," I said, and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

He got this look of pity in his eye, and it made me see red. "Don't feel sorry for me!" I yelled.

He held up his hands in surrender. "I apologize. I did not mean for it to come across that way. It's just that, I know what you must be going through."

Still angry I spit out, "How could you possibly know what I'm going through? You know shit about me or my life!"

Completely shocking me he asked, "When did it start?"

"When did what start?" I asked, turning away from him.

"Your hobby," he said, in a voice that told me he knew more about it than he led on.

I blew out a deep breath. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because like I've already told you, I want to help you," he said decidedly.

I shook my head and laughed sarcastically, "You couldn't handle it old man."

"You think so?" he asked, looking as if he liked a challenge.

"I _know_ so," I tested.

"Try me," he said and gestured for me to sit in one of the chairs in the room.

"You asked for it," I said, bluffing to see if he would back down.

A cold sensation ran down my spine when I saw that he wouldn't. _Shit!_

I remember telling him everything then, sounding like a pussy in my opinion.

_I never thought I'd tell this to anyone, give me a break._

I told him how my parents treated me, how my father would beat me while my mother lay on the couch, a worthless drunk. It was as if once the flood gates were opened, there was no stopping it.

He sat across from me, listening intently. Never interrupting, never reacting.

It was like he'd heard this all before… _Nah!_

_He's probably just waiting to get the full story so then he can call the cops on me._

I noticed his breathing was calm, as if not even affected by what I just confessed.

When the silence began to get awkward, I rose from the chair. "I'd better go." I said, but then he grabbed my arm, so I stopped.

As I was backing away, I came up against a wall of skin.

"Hello." Said the wall of muscle in front of me, "Name's Felix" he said, tilting his head up. I felt like I'd swallowed bricks.

"Hey." I said, trying to sound normal, and failing.

"Ahh Felix, my brother, you've come at a good time. This is Edward. Edward, Felix." Aro said smiling.

"Well, hello there Ed", he said in a seemingly pleasant voice.

I caught his look to Aro, and Aro's nodding response. "Welcome to the family." Felix said with a knowing grin.


	3. C3 Where Do I Go From Here?

**Chapter 3: Where Do I Go From Here?**

I lay awake in bed, feeling restless. It was like I wanted to jump out of my skin.

Tugging on a T- Shirt and jeans, I decided I wasn't going to get any sleep, so I might as well get some fresh air to try and relax.

I was headed to the park that was a few blocks from the loft, I would never think of any place as my home, when I saw a struggle in an alley out of the corner of my eye.

The girl—correction, this specimen had curves that girls only dream of—struggled against her attacker, clawing at him wherever she could, trying to get free.

I felt my heart race and the blood pump furiously through my veins, as if charging me for a fight.

_Well I'll be damned._

I wanted to fight this asshole for some reason, when my normal response to seeing this kind of scene, would be to brush it off, and keep on my way.

But I found myself fighting to stay rooted in place, as if there was some sort of pull coming from this woman. The panicked, yet determined expression on her face felt like an impulse to me, telling me I had to save her. _What the fuck? _

Before I knew what I was doing, my once heavy feet were marching me toward the struggle, my arms extended of there own will, as if to grab the assailant's neck.

"Get away from her!" I growled, rage fueling me.

"Fuck off, she's mine," said the attacker, smiling while licking her ear, which caused her to whimper, and her eyes to tear.

Then, something unexpected happened. The fear in her eyes was replaced with determination, and she kneed the bastard in the balls... hard.

_Damn, he'll be feeling that tomorrow…_ I thought with a smirk.

Asswipe fell to the ground in a heap, his face red, and covered in sweat.

I signaled to the girl to make a getaway before the guy regained strength, and wanted to tango again, but she just stared at me.

_She's in shock, moron…_

"Hey, are you alright?"

_Well, wasn't _that_ a stupid question… she'd just been about to be raped._

She opened her mouth to answer, but no sound came out.

She cleared her throat, and then, in a hoarse whisper replied, "_I'm fine. Thank you for what you did._"

I huffed. "I didn't do shit. You handled yourself well, Miss…"

_What the fuck was I doing? _

The best thing for both of us right now, was if I hightailed it out of there, and never saw her again.

I could feel something raging inside me, though I didn't know what the hell it was.

"Bella" she replied, eyeing me warily. "Are you alright?" she asked, reaching for my hand, but thinking better of it.

I was eyeing the retreating hand, at the same time wondering why she was asking about me, after what almost happened to her, when I said, "I'm fine, but we should get the hell out of here before he wakes up, don't you think?"

"You're right." She said, wiping the dirt off her jeans, and then looking at me.

That was when I really saw her, her eyes were the deepest shade of brown, hot-cocoa if you will; utterly mesmerizing.

I felt drawn to her, but why…

I realized I had drifted of to God knows where, when I heard her calling out to me distantly.

"Hey…" she said, looking into my eyes with her strangely haunting eyes.

_What is it about you?_ I thought.

I felt like taking her in my arms and—_What? Kiss her? Kill her?_

I shook my head. No, I would never harm this creature. Not on purpose anyway.

Damn. I. Am. Fucked.

She wiped her hands awkwardly on her jeans and said, "I… Think I'd better go…"

That snapped me back to the present. "Wait," I said, unwilling to part with her.

She looked at me confused, as we gravitated toward each other, "What?"

I recoiled from her, sensing a pull I didn't understand. "It- It's nothing." I said harshly.

She blanched. "Oh… Well, alright. Thanks again."

I nodded, if only to get out of there faster. I had to get away from this woman and what she was causing me to feel.

_Which was _what_, exactly?_

I had no fucking clue…


End file.
